By Silver Rae Fox
I was a daddy’s girl. My dad was one of the most genuinely loving men I’ve ever known. One of my favorite childhood memories of him was his ritual of making breakfast on weekends. He worked at a steel plant and had to be at work at 6 a.m. during the week, so on Saturday and Sunday he’d fry strips of salt pork or sausage along with scrambled eggs and grits, or sometimes we’d have sweet, buttered rice, salmon croquettes and toast. Coffee percolated on the stove.
I had fun watching, eagerly waiting to eat. After orchestrating all this, he would make one big plate for him and me, pour a cup of coffee, sweetening it with heaping teaspoons of sugar and adding a lavish splash of Carnation milk. He’d sit down and I would jump onto his lap. Even though I was about three or four years old and could feed myself, he would feed me from “our” plate. The coffee was real hot usually, so until it cooled off, he would blow on it and spoon some up for me. He would give me only a few spoonfuls, but I still remember the sweet, creamy taste of it. My toes would be wiggling, and I‘d be pretty tickled as he talked “baby girl” talk to me. I would hug him and he would give me squeaky kisses on my cheek. That was a long time ago, but the joy on his face during those times is unforgettable. It was the look of love.
Little did I know at that time what a precedence my dad had set for the men who would come and go out of my life. I’ve known rich ones and not so rich ones, handsome ones and not so handsome ones, smart ones, foolish ones, extraordinary ones and less than extraordinary ones, and yet nothing has come to impress me more than the goodness of a man’s heart. Nothing compares to the gentleness and affection received from a man who knows how to handle a woman tenderly. Nothing compares to the words of praise and joy he expresses just because he is happy to be with you. Nothing can compare to knowing you keep company in the other’s heart, not just in each other’s presence.
Yes, my daddy set that standard for me while at the same time teaching me to be trusting, confident, affectionate and loving in return. And, that is exactly what I learned. Love should feel easy. Love should feel comfortable and natural. When the “right one” comes along, love should look like putting the last piece in the puzzle of your heart.
I’ve also learned that what is equally important is knowing the look of the wrong thing. As the saying goes, if it doesn’t fit, don’t force it. Many of us have learned enough lessons to write a book from our faulty, fake and failed relationships. I certainly can say I have. If it doesn’t look kind, tender and respectful, then what you may believe is love just might be something else. It’s up to us to recognize the difference.
Indeed, recognize we must. As time rolls on, I’ll hold onto what those earlier lessons taught me. When the real Mr. Right stands up, it’s all quite clear. We’ll have breakfast together often. I’ll sit on his lap and we’ll drink coffee from the same cup. With toes wiggling, I’ll hug him sweetly and he’ll give me squeaky kisses on my cheek. Ahhhh, yes. That still looks like love to me.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Silver Rae Fox – In addition to her media projects, Silver is also an inspirational speaker and writer, professional development consultant and trainer. For more than 35 years, she has educated thousands upon thousands through personal coaching and classes, empowerment seminars, and hosting specially designed presentations for radio and online. You can read more inspirational and motivational articles authored by Silver www.silverraefox.com, and enjoy her uplifting positive quotes at www.thepositiveprinciple.com. She has also self-published two downloadable books, an audio e-book entitled “Colored People” and “Talk Productive: A Guide for Speaking Excellence”. For additional information, visit www.shop.silverraefox.com.