5 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Sexy
by Robin and Robbie Ayers
Robin and Robbie Ayers were best friends. They became a couple in October, engaged in December, and married in June of 2005. Now, they are passing on tips of their successful marriage to help and inspire others! Courageous Woman Magazine caught up with them and asked if they would share some tips on how to keep the spice in your marriage.
11 1⁄2 years and 10-year-old twins later, our marriage is still going strong and we are always trying to find ways to ignite new fires. Our disclaimer has always been this: what works for us may not be the answer for everyone else’s relationship, but we’ve discovered a few indicators that cross just about every relationship and may keep the sexy going for your marriage as well.
Let’s start out by saying that marriage is no joke, and it’s definitely not always sexy. There are two people who have two different backgrounds and two different personality traits, trying to blend their ways together to make one blissful life together. Can everybody say, “Hard work”? However, even in the midst of it all, our marriage is one of the most fulfilling, magical, and purposeful things we’ve both ever experienced. So we’ll share five of our favorite tips!
1. Friendship: Once people get married, they have a tendency to take off the friendship hat and wear the married hat for all situations. Sometimes…actually, many times, you’ll need to remember that you were friends first. As a friend, you’ll probably understand your mate better than you would as a married partner.
2. Date Night: Before we were married, we went on a lot of dates and did the most random things, but we had tons of fun doing them. When kids come into the picture, sure things will change, but you have to keep your marriage alive! Remember, your kids will grow up and move out of the house one day and you’ll still be married to the same person. Will you still be fun-loving and attracted to each other, or will you be distant and bored because your life became all about your children?
3. If not you, then who? This is a pretty powerful tool that makes you wake up sometimes! Don’t get comfortable with your husband or wife! Now that you’ve got them, keep them. If you don’t show him or her the love they deserve, there is someone else who sees the qualities that you take for granted. There’s always someone waiting in the wings. Remember why you fell in love with that person in the first place.
4. Evolve, but don’t change: That sounds kind of funny, but this is a great tip. Constantly evolve your mind and grow because that’s sexy. However, don’t change who you were before you were married. If you used to dress sophisticated or sexy, don’t completely trade your look in for t-shirts and sweats. Wives, if you used to cook for him to “get him”, don’t trade in your pots and pans for coupons at the fast food restaurant. Men, if you complimented her everyday before marriage, don’t allow another man to step in taking your place outside the home.
5. Spontaneity: Switch it up and don’t be predictable. Be ready and willing to get your freak on anytime, anywhere. Give and receive passionate kisses in public or in private. It feels great!
All in all, you’re the key to keeping your marriage fun and sexy!
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