Full disclosure…I’m not a woman. Smile. 

But seriously, all jokes aside, I don’t profess to know all of the unique emotions and feelings that come with the extra X chromosome. And, I completely acknowledge that most men (not all of us) process, express, and emote our feelings in contrastingly different ways when juxtaposed to how women do so. With that said, quite often, I am asked for relationship advice from men, and especially from women. This is the case because, as #thedopeprofessor, I offer life lessons to my social media family that I’ve learned along the way. These lessons seem to resonate with so many.

“Like yourself, enjoy your own company, and spend time with you.”

I believe that at our core, we have some basic human characteristics that transcend our gender differences.

One basic foundational emotion is Love. As human beings, there as some truths that are universal. Not to be religious, but the verse says, “Love is patient, Love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” So when a woman (or man) asks my advice as to why they can’t find Love or why Love wasn’t found of them, I immediately ask the question, “But do you love yourself unconditionally?” Do you offer yourself the same type of Love expressed in the quote?

Women can be more forgiving of their man’s shortcomings than they are with forgiving what is perceived as their own.

Why? I believe it’s due to the lack of self-love. If you can’t love yourself, how can you love anyone else; or understand how to love anyone else? Recognize that “imperfections” are unique expressions of God. You are special! Embrace your curves, love your stretch marks, don’t hate your moles, admire your hair – natural or store-bought (smile), and appreciate your breasts regardless of the size. Like yourself, enjoy your own company, and spend time with you. A woman must learn to love herself first. 

Just… Love. On. You.

Once you’ve indeed fallen back in Love with yourself, then you will naturally reject anything (or anyone) that isn’t loving. Conversely, you will begin to attract the Love you seek. Love begets Love.

Winston Warrior aka #TheDopeProfessor (@therealwinstonwarrior)

Winston Warrior (that’s his real name) is a storyteller, model, social media influencer, creative catalyst, and marketing executive.  He is an actual university professor/administrator at the University of Miami.  Entertainment is his other passion.  Winston is also an R&B singer/songwriter.  In 2011, he released his debut studio album, Lifeology 101 whose lead single “Bad 4 U” peaked at #27 on the Billboard Adult R&B Song chart.