Is there a such thing as Gender Grief?

By Dr.  Portia lockett

The experience of grief during the holiday season can indeed differ between women and men, largely due to varying emotional responses, social expectations, and coping mechanisms. Here are some key differences and supportive strategies:

Emotional Expression

Women often express their grief more openly than men do. They may be more likely to cry or talk about their feelings, while men might keep their emotions more private or struggle to articulate them. 

Support Networks

Women typically have broader support networks, which they might rely on more during times of grief. Engaging with friends, family, or support groups can be particularly beneficial for them. Men, on the other hand, might not seek out these networks as actively but can benefit significantly, when they do.

Coping Mechanisms

Men may lean towards action-oriented coping strategies, like focusing on work or physical activities. Women might prefer emotional processing, like talking or journaling. Both approaches are valid, and understanding this can help in providing the right resources.

Cultural Expectations

Societal norms sometimes pressure men to be stoic, which can complicate their grieving process. Recognizing and allowing men to grieve in their own way is crucial. Similarly, acknowledging that women’s grief is not a sign of weakness but a natural emotional process is important.

Resources and Support

Providing gender-sensitive resources can help. This includes counseling services that understand these differences, support groups specifically for men or women, and educational resources that cater to different grieving styles.

Self-Care and Patience

Both men and women benefit from self-care practices like mindfulness, exercise, and healthy eating during grief. Patience with oneself and understanding that grief does not have a set timeline is also crucial. Understanding these differences can help in approaching grief with more empathy and providing appropriate support to both men and women during challenging times, especially during emotionally charged periods like the holidays.

Dr. Portia Lockett is a keynote speaker, grief recovery method specialist, chaplain and spiritual advisor.She is the coauthor of Delayed But Not Denied 2, creator of The Healing Hard Deck, and cohost of The Grieving Journey Podcast. and CEO/Founder of the Azal Benne Lockett Foundation. She has been featured on BET, CNN, and National Geographic and in Speakers Magazine, Michigan Chronicle, and numerous podcast shows. Visit Dr. Lockett @drportialockett.com